Difficult mothers : understanding and overcoming their power

Format:

Book

Title:

Difficult mothers : understanding and overcoming their power

Author:

Apter, T. E.

ISBN:

9780393081022

9780393345445

Edition:

1st ed.

Publication Information:

Physical Description:

xvi, 238 pages ; 22 cm

Contents:

Difficult mothers: common patterns -- The science behind a mother's power -- The angry mother -- The controlling mother -- The narcissistic mother -- The envious mother -- The emotionally unavailable mother -- Am I a difficult mother? -- Resilience.

Summary:

A psychologist describes the five different types of difficult mothers, including angry, controlling, narcissistic, envious and emotionally neglectful and explains how adults can still suffer from these negative relationships and how they can overcome the challenges of their complex feelings.

Subject(s):

Mother and child.

Mothers -- Psychology.

Control (Psychology)

Families -- Psychological aspects.

Holds:

Available:*

Library	Call Number	Status
Searching... McMinnville Public Library	155.924 Apter	Searching... Unknown
Searching... Salem Main Library	155.924 Apter 2012	Searching... Unknown

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Summary

Mother love is often seen as sacred, but for many children the relationship is a painful struggle. Using the newest research on human attachment and brain development, Terri Apter, an internationally acclaimed psychologist and writer, unlocks the mysteries of this complicated bond. She showcases the five different types of difficult mother--the angry mother, the controlling mother, the narcissistic mother, the envious mother, and the emotionally neglectful mother--and explains the patterns of behavior seen in each type. Apter also explores the dilemma at the heart of a difficult relationship: why a mother has such a powerful impact on us and why we continue to care about her responses long after we have outgrown our dependence. She then shows how we can conduct an "emotional audit" on ourselves to overcome the power of the complex feelings a difficult mother inflicts. In the end this book celebrates the great resilience of sons and daughters of difficult mothers as well as acknowledging their special challenges.

Author Notes

Terri Apter is a social psychologist and researcher at Cambridge University in England.

Reviews (2)

Publisher's Weekly Review

Apter (The Sister Knot), a psychologist and fellow at Newnham College, Cambridge, still feels her long-deceased mother's critical presence as a constant companion. An outgrowth of a Psychology Today article and drawing on interviews with men and women aged 17 to 67, her book offers a framework for understanding why the effects of one of the most formative relationships of our lives continue to mold our present behaviors, and offers tools to reshape those behaviors and maintain our resilience. Categorizing difficult mothers as angry, controlling, narcissistic, envious, and neglectful, Apter defines a difficult mother as one who causes her child either to develop coping mechanisms that constrain his/her own outlook, imagination, and values, or suffer ridicule, disapproval, or rejection. Apter asks readers who tend to appease angry mother and friends to conduct an emotional audit to determine if they should direct their energy instead to genuine interactions. Apter keenly diagnoses damaged relationships, but her coping mechanisms only scratch the surface in solving deeply rooted problems. This sound, intelligent book is a good starting point for a self-examination that readers may want to continue with therapy. Agent: Meg Ruley, Jane Rotrosen Agency. (May) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

Library Journal Review

Psychologist Apter (fellow, Newnham Coll., Cambridge Univ.; What Do You Want from Me? Learning To Get Along with In-Laws) sets out to help readers understand why mothers can have such a powerful impact on their grown children's lives and how to overcome the complex feelings a difficult mother inflicts. She highlights five different types-the angry mother, the controlling mother, the narcissistic mother, the envious mother, and the emotionally neglectful mother-and explains the behavioral patterns common in each. Apter's advice will help readers make sense of difficult mother-child relationships and develop strategies for reshaping responses and expectations. VERDICT Anyone with a problematic maternal relationship will find empathy and therapeutic approaches for healing. [See Prepub Alert, 11/21/11.] (c) Copyright 2012. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Introduction	p. vii
Chapter 1 Difficult Mothers: Common Patterns	p. 1
Chapter 2 The Science Behind a Mother's Power	p. 23
Chapter 3 The Angry Mother	p. 43
Chapter 4 The Controlling Mother	p. 75
Chapter 5 The Narcissistic Mother	p. 93
Chapter 6 The Envious Mother	p. 115
Chapter 7 The Emotionally Unavailable Mother	p. 133
Chapter 8 Am I a Difficult Mother?	p. 161
Chapter 9 Resilience: Overcoming a Difficult Mother's Power	p. 187
Notes	p. 207
Bibliography	p. 217
Acknowledgments	p. 227
Index	p. 229

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Bound With These Titles

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Summary

Summary

Author Notes

Reviews (2)

Publisher's Weekly Review

Library Journal Review

Table of Contents