Available:*
Library | Call Number | Status |
|---|---|---|
Searching... Dallas Public Library | 158.1 Firestone | Searching... Unknown |
Bound With These Titles
On Order
Summary
Summary
The inner critic is the voice in our heads that whispers, whines, and needles us into poor self-esteem and self-confidence. It edits our thoughts, controls our behavior, and inhibits our actions. It thinks it is protecting us from being hurt or feeling abandoned, but all it really does is reinforce our feelings of shame and guilt, sabotage our intimate relationships, and incline us to self-destructive behaviors. Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice presents a revolutionary new strategy for dealing with the inner critic: externalizing it. This subtle, powerful technique turns internal self-criticisms into 'you' statements that can be evaluated objectively and exposed as the gross exaggerations, unfair comparisons, or flat out lies they really are. This book takes you through the step-by-step process of learning how to keep track of your negative thoughts, analyze their reality, and recognize how they impact your life. Learn to use a variety of techniques to help release your inner critic's stranglehold and combat its subversive effect on your career achievement, intimate relationships, and sexuality. A final chapter of the book offers parents simple ways to help their children avoid forming a tyrannical inner critic.
Author Notes
Robert W. Firestone, PhD, is a psychologist, author, and artist . He has been the main theoretician with the Glendon Association since 1979. He is author of 10 books including Fear of Intimacy and Fantasy Bond.
Lisa Firestone, PhD, is a psychotherapist in private practice, program and education director of the Glendon Association, and an adjunct faculty member at the University of California, Santa Barbara.
Joyce Catlett, MA, is a lecturer, author and coproducer of The Glendon Association's thirty-seven documentary videos. She developed the Compassionate Child Rearing Parent Education Program and conducts trainings. She lives in Santa Barabara, CA.
Foreword writer Patricia Love, EdD, is an acclaimed therapist and speaker and author/co-author of six books, including Hot Monogamy, The Truth About Love and How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. She has appeared on Oprah and Today and on CNN, and has contributed to numerous magazines including Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, and Woman's World.
Reviews (1)
Library Journal Review
In vain, psychologist Firestone, psychotherapist Lisa Firestone, and lecturer/ writer Joyce Catlett attempt to convey the interesting concept of the "critical inner voice," which could be described as that little devil that sits on one's shoulder to balance out the little angel on the other side. This voice begins when as young children we internalize parental messages, particularly negative ones, creating a psychological base which many of us do not progress beyond to find a more realistic and rational self-view. All parents, however well intentioned, create critical inner voices. Unfortunately, description is all readers will get here as the text recounts ad nauseam various manifestations of the voice. Although many readers will respond to the premise (and to the sad anecdotes), the book fails to articulate clearly any methods for counteracting the effects of the voice. Not recommended; instead, consider Byron Brown's clear, practical Soul Without Shame: A Guide to Liberating Yourself from the Judge Within. Shores is also concerned with a negative voice-specifically that of the heart, which uses emotion as a "voice" when "speaking." Listening to and understanding this voice helps readers relate emotional experiences to God. Like Firestone, Shores is short on method and overly long on anecdote, not to mention Scripture. After introducing a subject in the tone of a self-help author, he takes on that of a religious counselor, which in fact he is. His stories and mysterious Christian concepts unfortunately obscure any discernible methods for learning to listen to one's heart. The upshot is that Christians may struggle with the book, and non-Christians certainly won't gain much from it. Overall, this work feels unfinished and is not recommended. (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Table of Contents
| Acknowledgments | p. ix |
| Foreword | p. xi |
| Introduction | p. 1 |
| Organization of This Book | |
| A Note to Therapists | |
| Part I Understanding Your Critical Inner Voice | |
| Chapter 1 Becoming Familiar with Your Critical Inner Voice | p. 9 |
| How Your Critical Inner Voice Controls Your Actions | |
| Being for Yourself or against Yourself | |
| How Did You Develop a Critical Inner Voice? | |
| Your Defenses | |
| The Real You and Your Critical Inner Voice | |
| How the Critical Inner Voice Disrupts Your Everyday Life | |
| Challenging the Critical Inner Voice by Taking Action | |
| Chapter 2 How Your Critical Inner Voice Creates Shame, Guilt, and Low Self-Esteem | p. 33 |
| Identify When You Are Feeling Shame or Guilt | |
| The Defenses on Which Guilt, Shame, and Low Self-Esteem Are Based | |
| Critical Inner Voices Underlying Neurotic Guilt | |
| Critical Inner Voices Underlying Existential Guilt | |
| Combating Guilt, Shame, and Low Self-Esteem | |
| Part II Challenging The Critical Inner Voice | |
| Chapter 3 How the Critical Inner Voice Interferes with Your Career | p. 57 |
| How Your Defenses Limit You in Your Career | |
| Identify and Overcome Voices That Interfere with Your Creativity | |
| Chapter 4 How the Critical Inner Voice Influences Your Relationship | p. 75 |
| How the Critical Inner Voice Interferes with Intimacy | |
| How the Fantasy Bond Works in Relationships | |
| How the Critical Inner Voice and the Fantasy Bond Work Together to Destroy Relationships | |
| Signs of a Fantasy Bond in Your Relationship | |
| Playing the Parent/Playing the Child | |
| How We Defend Ourselves against Love | |
| Three Defenses | |
| Suggestions for Disrupting the Fantasy Bond | |
| Chapter 5 How the Critical Inner Voice Intrudes on Your Sexual Relationship | p. 97 |
| Two Views of Sex | |
| How Our Attitudes Toward Sex Are Influenced by Parents, Peers, and Society | |
| Attitudes toward Our Bodies | |
| Attitudes about Masturbation and Sex Play | |
| Society's Attitudes about Sexuality | |
| Voices During Sex | |
| How Do You Relate Sexually? Two Kinds of Sex | |
| Chapter 6 How the Critical Inner Voice Seduces You into Addictive Behaviors | p. 117 |
| How Addictive Behaviors Affect You | |
| How Do We Come to Develop Addictions? | |
| How the Critical Inner Voice Encourages Addictive Behaviors | |
| Eating Disorders, Drug Abuse, and Alcoholism | |
| How Compulsive Activities Can Become Addictive | |
| Guidelines for Challenging Addictive Behaviors | |
| Chapter 7 How Listening to Your Critical Inner Voice Can Make You Feel Down and Depressed | p. 135 |
| Have You Ever Been Depressed? | |
| How Do You Usually React to Negative Events in Your Life? | |
| What Does It Feel Like to Be Depressed? | |
| The Continuum of Self-Destructive Behaviors and Critical Inner Voices | |
| Combating Critical Inner Voices That Lead to Depression | |
| Steps for Challenging Depression | |
| Chapter 8 How to Select a Therapist | p. 163 |
| Factors to Consider in Making Your Choice | |
| Personal Qualities of the Therapist That Are Conducive to Good Therapy | |
| The Therapeutic Relationship | |
| Part III Guidelines for Living the "Good Life" | |
| Chapter 9 For Parents: Guidelines for Optimal Child Development | p. 171 |
| Repeating Our Parents' Behaviors | |
| Guilt about Not Always Feeling Love | |
| Guidelines for Child Rearing | |
| Chapter 10 Living Free of Imagined Limitations--The "Good Life" | p. 187 |
| What Does "Living the Good Life" Mean to You? | |
| Guidelines for Continued Personal Development | |
| Guidelines for Continued Personal Development in Your Relationship | |
| Guidelines for Further Developing a Meaningful Life | |
| Bibliography: Glendon Association Video Productions | p. 201 |
| Suggested Reading | p. 207 |
| References | p. 215 |